Here’s the thing: my mouth sometimes runs away from me. I was raised in a VERY big, VERY loud family where sarcasm fills the air and everyone knows best. My husband likes to say we have too many chiefs and not enough Indians. So, when I married a man who is slow to speak and REFUSED to argue, I had no clue what to do. I actually got mad (read: overwhelmingly furious) that he would not argue with me. I have a BIG personality. I have been loud my whole life. It really comes natural.
What I’m trying to learn is not so much to be quieter, but to be more thoughtful before I speak. More often than I would like to admit, I say something and immediately think, “Jesus would NOT have said that!” But I’m trying, and I’m learning. I’m improving. I know I can only do it with the help of God. And I’d be willing to bet I’m not alone in this.
Since I tend to befriend ladies who are older than I and more experienced, I’ve been able to glean some wisdom from them on this subject.
Here are some suggestions on how to teach ourselves to watch what we say:
1.) Get in the Word.
We would think this would be obvious, but in the midst of life, husbands, babies, and jobs it is SO HARD sometimes. We have to make this a priority. If setting a time of day works for you, do it. Don’t make it optional. If you have to fit in in whenever you have a second, do it. Keep your bible and notebook ready on the side table in the living room or wherever it will be handy for when you have ten minutes. (Talking to myself here!)
2.) Shut off the TV.
There is so much trash on TV nowadays. Our children can’t even watch some shows without adult issues being snuck in there. It’s secular infiltration and it’s unavoidable now. We have to know what shows are acceptable and what shows are not helping us in our quest for Christ-like speech. If your favorite characters, who you watch every week, are talking smack, chances are you are, too. When we put trash in, trash spills out in our speech.
3.) Surround yourself with women that have the traits you’d like to learn.
I have a serious girl-crush. Yep, you read that right. I have a friend, Heather, who has four kiddos. They’re ALWAYS well-mannered, perfectly dressed, usually matching, and Heather and her husband are adorable. Her babies praise Jesus with passion and they model a Godly, loving family to everyone. Not to mention after 4 kids, she still looks amazing and is ALWAYS uplifting and helpful. Yep, you have a girl-crush now, too, don’t ya? I need to somehow convince her to hang out with me more. Why? Because the things she accomplishes, I want to learn how. I can learn how to better wrangle my tongue, how to better parent. Now, I know she isn’t perfect. I know I don’t see all the behind-the-scenes. I know I can’t envy her. But I also know that surrounding ourselves with women who have the same Godly goals in mind will help us all to become the woman God has called us to be. Encouragement is vital to us, ladies. We need to encourage one another.
*DISCLAIMER: For those who don’t know, a girl-crush is simply one woman admiring or wanting to be more like another. Admiration. That’s it.
4.) Make a conscious effort!
We must hold ourselves accountable. When we say things, we need to consciously ask ourselves “Is that something I should be saying?” If it’s not, then we need to make it right.
5.) Listen to worship music.
Worship. Just getting in the mood to love on Jesus can change everything. Try changing your typical music out for worship music for one week. See if it doesn’t make a difference. It just gets inside your spirit and helps build he relationship between you and a God who would do anything for you.
Luke 6:45 adapted says “Her mouth speaks from that which fills her heart.”
Let us fill our heart with things of God, so that we might also speak he words of Godliness.
Love to my loves,