Being a mama is serious work. But that’s doesn’t mean you have to suffer through not wearing makeup and feeling like a bum. Nope, I’m here to help!
Here is a step-by-step guide for mamas to get in the mornings. Follow these tips and you’ll be in mom mode in no time!
Step 1: Decide to put on makeup.
Step 2: Ask 4-year-old where your makeup is. She just HAD to wear it and look like mommy. It’s now hidden in oblivion. Find it. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Step 3: Pick out cute clothes for the day. Lay them flat on bed until time to wear them. (If you put them on now, the baby will have you filthy before you leave!)
Step 4: Chase down 4-year-old, take back makeup, threaten to abduct her princess dresses if she lays her grubby hands on the makeup again today.
Step 5: Why is the one-year-old crying? She crawled onto the bed and can’t get down. Help her down.
Step 6: Pick out new clothes. Baby just wiped PB&J all over the cute clothes you had lying on the bed.
Step 7: Change Bra. She wiped PB &J on that, too.
Step 8: Turn on VeggieTales or Sherriff Callie to occupy tiny humans while you get ready.
Step 9: Go to bathroom and prepare to put on makeup.
Step 10: Go back to check on kids. They’re too quiet. It’s suspicious.
Step 11: Baby saw you. Pick her up and take her with you to bathroom.
Step 12: Try to put her down. Fail epically. She flails and screams on the floor.
Step 13: Turn up the A/C. It’s getting hot in here.
Step 14: Forget to wait and put on clothes.
Step 15: Remember why you didn’t put clothes on. Also remember to wipe PB&J off baby so the mess doesn’t reoccur. Take new dirty clothes off.
Step 16: Spend 30 mins getting kids dressed and ready.
Step 16: Still in your underwear, figure out why baby is screaming again.
Step 17: Check clock. It’s nap time. That’s why she’s crying.
Step 18: Fill sippy cup with milk, lay baby down for nap.
Step 19: Realize you’re still naked with a towel on your head and no makeup.
Step 20: Put on yoga pants and a ponytail and give up looking cute.
If you don’t have kids yet, you’ll understand later.
Love to my loves,