Before Will and I got married, he told me that God had placed a very specific calling on his life. He told me, very plainly, that he was called to preach the gospel, to be a pastor (and that if I weren’t planning to marry him and be his wife, there wasn’t any point in us dating!). As a 17-year-old girl, you can imagine my surprise, but I admired his boldness and saw a man who had a huge heart for God, incredible knowledge of His Word, and a hunger that couldn’t be satisfied. This man answered my questions and my doubts with incredible patience and outright excitement. I married him.
Fast forward two years to a Sunday morning in the church where we met. A pastor from another country, who is very near and dear to our hearts, announced that he would like everyone who felt called to pastor to come to the front for prayer. My husband and one other couple stood and went forward. I sat comfortably in my chair. As Pastor Suarez was praying, I knew I should have gone with him. After all, if that was the calling God had placed on his life and I was called to be his wife, then we were in it together.
But at the time, I didn’t feel like God had placed ANY calling on me. It wasn’t until a few years later (when I realized the actual relationship with God was the key) and lots of seeking that God filled me in. He told me my first calling was to be a Godly wife. My second to be a Godly mother, and third, a speaker of His gospel. (I surely never thought THAT would be the calling He gave me.)
So, I made it my mission to support Will in his calling, which just happens to also be his greatest passion- preaching the Word. And while God hasn’t yet given us a platform on which to preach it, while we wait on His timing and His placement, here are five ways I try to support and help my Studmuffin grow and learn in his calling:
1.) Pray For Him
Men are our protectors and providers. They carry the burdens of the family and guide us spiritually. On top of family life, they have work, they have church, they have just as many things on their plates as we women do. So we MUST lift them in prayer. I pray for him to have wisdom. I pray for him to have patience. I pray for him to resist temptation in all areas and for him to listen for the voice of God. I pray for his safety. My goal is for him to always be built up in prayer. Even if you’re running late in the mornings, when you’re stuck in traffic, just pray a two-sentence prayer over him. God hears our smallest prayers just as well as our elaborate ones. You’ll be glad you did.
2.) Remind him who he is.
When God places a calling on us, it doesn’t always manifest immediately. Whether your calling is to be a mother, a Godly entrepreneur, or a Pastor, these callings are all important and they don’t always happen when we want it to. So we wait. Or we are thrust into it. Either way, he WILL get discouraged. Remind him. Remind him who is in control. Remind him why God called him. Remind him why you married him. Remind him that He is who God says he is. Remind him that he has a loving wife and a loving God who both believe in him immensely. Remind him. Then remind him again. Then pray WITH him.
3.) Speak goodness TO him and ABOUT him.
In our culture, it seems to be the thing to speak ill of husbands, and really, men in general. We sit with our girlfriends and tell them the latest faux pas our husband has committed and roll our eyes at the stupidity of men. Don’t. My husband is my other half. My covenant partner. I should treat him as such. Speak good things about him to your friends, to your family. Praise him in public. Then praise him in private. Remind him.
4.) Encourage his passion.
It used to irk me that my husband seemed to have NO hobbies at all. Seriously. He isn’t a music person. Not a sports fanatic. Doesn’t have a large circle of friends (neither do I). Isn’t a fisherman or a hunter. It took me YEARS to realize that he has two hobbies: Jesus and Business. Those two things, once he starts talking, he can’t stop. And while generally a quiet person, he has this incredible wealth of information and an eagerness to share it with anyone who will listen. How do I encourage that? I get him books and teachings. I talk about business ideas and marketing with him. I ask him questions about these things. For Christmas, I bought him a CD on entrepreneurial leadership. Today, I went to the book store and bought three books: one on Grace, one on mentorship, and one on pastoring. My goal is to feed his passion. And I find that I learn so much from him by listening to him.
5.) Become the wife of a man who is called to that position/calling.
This has been one of my biggest focuses: myself. I’ve been asking God to prepare MY heart as well. Make me gentler. Make me an encourager. Make me a listener. Give me a heart for God and a heart for His people. Make me into the wife my husband needs.
I’d love to hear what you do to encourage your husband’s call.
Love to my loves,